REWRITING the Thematic Essay: Neolithic Revolution

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November 1, 2014 by mrcaseyhistory

frustrated_writer_no_textHello my little Hemingways,

So this is your weekend to become better writers.

You have all received your graded essays complete with plenty of feedback in the form of my notes all over your papers as well as the breakdown of points according to the rubric. I was tough in my grading of these essays because I want to challenge you to become better writers. You have the opportunity to rewrite the essay for full points, meaning your newer better grade will completely replace the old one. I want you to really dig into these essays. Don’t just rewrite by going in order and trying to fix each error I pointed out. Read over it in its entirety, and then come up with a plan for going forward.

You will need a few things to do this right. First, below you will find the actual essay task sheet and the essay prep graphic organizer I gave you when we first started with these essays. You will definitely want to use the task sheet to make sure you are on task, and if you have some serious rewriting to do, the prep organizer might be useful.

Thematic Essay – Turning Points Neolithic Revolution
Neolithic Thematic Essay Prep

Second, you have the two documents you received from me in class this week. The guide for rewriting the essay has two functions. On one side it gives advice on correcting common mistakes made on many essays, and on the other side it gives you the abbreviations I used on many of your essays when I made comments. So when you see “TNA!” or “O…” or “WP” you’ll know what it means.

Rewriting the Thematic Essay
Regents Thematic Rubric

Third, these are the PowerPoints from the two lessons most closely relate to your essay. The first one on the Neolithic Revolution is mostly related to your first paragraph, and the second one on the Dawn of Civilization is mostly related to your second paragraph. Some of you were writing about other theories for how farming started, and it’s fine to bring those in (AS LONG AS THEY ARE ACCURATE AND NOT MADE UP), but I would like you to bring in what I taught you in class.

Neolithic Revolution
Dawn of Civilization

Fourth, I know many of you will, and during the first writing probably did, review the PowerPoints and feel you needed more information. Admittedly, the slides are an overview, since I add more explanation and elaboration while teaching. Some of you turned to the textbook and got yourself more confused, spending all your time talking about irrelevant issues like the size of hunter gatherer bands and stone hand axes. The textbook is more helpful for the second paragraph (use Chapter 1 Section 3) but for the first paragraph, the textbook (Chapter 1 Section 2) doesn’t have all you need, especially about HOW farming started. Luckily for you, I found a GREAT resource online about the Natufians and the birth of agriculture in the Levant! It’s much more detailed than the slides and explains in depth, so if you felt you need to become more familiar with that part of the story, check it out! I’ve posted the sections separately so you can more easily find what you need.

The Origins of Civilization:
From Hunters to Farmers: A Revolution in Human History
The “Neolithic Revolution”
Domestication of Plants and Animals in Global Perspective
The Consequences of Sedentism: What Happens When Mobile Hunter-gathers Settle Down?
Environment and Culture: How Do We Best Explain How Societies Change?

 

With all of that, you should be able to produce a much improved essay, and become better writers through the process. If you have any questions, as always, shoot me an email at pcasey@maspethhighschool.org and I will do my best to respond promptly.

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#Zenobia, the Rebel Queen Who Took On Rome: This ancient #Syrian queen of #Palmyra conquered Egypt, captured Roman provinces, and nearly transformed her realm into an empire equal to #Rome. (Her real name was Septimia Bat-Zabbai, hellenized as Zenobia.) . . ...The showdown had been decades in the making. By the middle of the third century A.D. the Roman Empire was mired in political and economic crisis, its frontiers under constant attack, and its center struggling to hold. The catastrophic defeat and capture in 260 of Emperor #Valerian by the #Persians thrust Roman rule into even greater disarray. In Europe the rebel #Gallic empire started to break away from Rome. Weakened and distracted, the empire was facing threats on all fronts. Observing from the east, Zenobia saw her opportunity and knew that she had an empire to gain... . . Read the full story at NationalGeographic.com or through link in my bio. . . #WomensHistoryMonth #AncientWomen #WomensHistory #AncientHistory #SyrianHistory
#Boudica was a #Celtic queen who led a revolt against #Roman rule in ancient #Britain in A.D. 60 or 61. As all of the existing information about her comes from Roman scholars, particularly #Tacitus and #CassiusDio, little is known about her early life; it’s believed she was born into an elite family in Camulodunum around A.D. 30. At 18, Boudica married Prasutagas, king of the Iceni tribe of modern-day East Anglia. When the Romans conquered southern #England in A.D. 43, most Celtic tribes were forced to submit, but the Romans let Prasutagas continue in power as a forced ally of the Empire. When he died without a male heir in A.D. 60, the Romans annexed his kingdom and confiscated his family’s land and property. As a further humiliation, they publicly flogged Boudica and raped her two daughters. #Boudicca promised vengeance after this violation: “Nothing is safe from Roman pride and arrogance. They will deface the sacred and will deflower our virgins. Win the battle or perish, that is what I, a woman, will do.” Like other ancient Celtic women, Boudica had trained as a warrior. With the Roman governor Gaius Suetonius Paulinus leading a military campaign in Wales, Boudica led a rebellion of the Iceni and members of other tribes resentful of Roman rule. After defeating the Roman Ninth Legion, the queen’s forces destroyed Camulodunum, then the capital of Roman Britain, and massacred its inhabitants. They went on to give similar treatment to #London and Verulamium. By that time, Suetonius had returned from Wales and marshaled his army to confront the rebels. In the clash that followed, the Romans managed to defeat the Britons despite inferior numbers, and Boudica and her daughters apparently killed themselves by taking poison in order to avoid capture. In all, Tacitus claimed, Boudica’s forces had massacred some 70,000 Romans and pro-Roman #Britons. Though her rebellion failed, and the Romans would continue to control Britain until A.D. 410, Boudica is celebrated today as a national heroine and an embodiment of the struggle for justice and independence. #WomensHistoryMonth #AncientHistory
Incredible vivid images of life in #Ottoman #Jerusalem, 1900-1918. Muslims, Christians, and Jews. Before the British #Mandate. Before the World Wars. Before the #Holocaust. Before the #UNPartition. Before the State or #Israel. Before #Nakba. Before the many wars and attacks. Before #Occupation. Before #Intifada. Before the rockets fired at Israel. Before the repeated destructions of Gaza and the illegal #settlements in the West Bank. Before the separation wall. May we one day (soon) see a #JustPeace in #Jerusalem and all the land of #Canaan. #Israel #Palestine 🇮🇱 🇵🇸 #Yerushalayim #AlQuds
#MuhammadAli on the #VietnamWar. #GOAT #BlackHistoryMonth
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